"Dear Audrey" by Andrea Liang
Photo by Analia Baggiano on Unsplash
17 and 20
Sisterhood
I see reminders of you everywhere.
I see us when the orange M&M falls next to the yellow one, when two matching pens fall out of a pencil case, and when little kids wear matching outfits in public.
We’re 17 and 20 now, but we were once
0 and 3
First sight
Although I have no evidence, we were best friends as soon as I came home from the hospital. It was love at first sight. I have no memories of childhood without you, and it’s strange to think that you were alone for the first 3 years of your life. Were you lonely? Did our parents play with you? Were you happy I was born?
I often wished we got another younger sibling just so I could understand what you felt.
5 and 8
Twins
I loved it when strangers said we looked like twins. It meant I was like you, my idol.
I idolized you.
You complain about how I copied your personality, but how else would we get along? They say an artist’s greatest critic is themselves, but you loved my recycled version of your quick jokes and witty humor. Our self-cannibalistic personalities, like an AI model that eats itself until it implodes, developed into our own “Liang” language.
Like twins, I could finish your sentences and vice versa. You tried to grow up, but I held you back. I tried to live my childhood, but you inadvertently rushed me.
12 and 15
Names
Our parents don’t share a last name with each other, and we didn’t get either of their last names. We’ve always been isolated from our parents, on our own island.
A teacher once brought it up when I was in sixth grade.
“So, who do you share your last name with?”
“Well… just my sister, I guess.”
Although I later learned that my dad did have the same last name as we do, just not on his government identification, the language of the Liang sisters stayed strong.
13 and 17
Our morning routine
We walked to school together every day. We followed the same routine, walked the same route, and had the same conversations every day. We commented on the same vaguely interesting art that stimulated our identical brains in the same way. We talked about the same annoying classmates, boring teachers, and childhood stories. The year passed slowly yet all too fast, and eventually we were
15 and 18
Goodbyes
I didn’t cry when you walked into the airport and left me behind with our parents.
What a weird place the airport is. It’s home to reunions and farewells, new chapters and conclusions, excitement and dread.
My crying happened a week earlier, when I was lying in bed. I realized—truly realized—that my life would never be the same. Who would I walk to school with every morning? Who would I tell about my mundane daily life? Who would I share my snacks from throughout the day with?
16 and 19
Life goes on
I felt your absence acutely. It was a loneliness I can only imagine you felt when you were 3—but it was worse, because I knew what I was missing, and I was old enough to feel it.
I survived.
17 and 20
Connections
We called and talked, and it was as if you were never gone at all. I still felt the loneliness in the mornings when I walked to school or when I had a story to tell, but I had learned to live my new life.
We discovered the New York Times Connections one day and binged them all in one go. From then on, we agreed to save the Connections for when we called so we could do them together. I devoutly abstain from catching even a glimpse of the Connections. We play Connections (and I’d say we’re pretty good at it), but it’s possible we’re too similar.
Our games are always filled with “That’s exactly what I thought of too!" and silly ideas. After all that time apart, the Liang sisters’ language had not been forgotten.
We often have the same conversations over and over again like scholars who still can’t quite get to the bottom of it. You begin speaking, and within the first 2 words, I already know exactly what you’ll say, yet we still tell the same stories and laugh about the same memories.
18 and 21?
Reunited
It’s funny how it worked out. I didn’t think I’d get in. When I found out I did, the first thing I said was “I guess I’ll see you soon.”
Love,
Andrea
Andrea Liang is 17 years old. She lives in Singapore and attends the Singapore American School. Some cool facts about Andrea are that she has sent something into space, she likes to knit and sew and she loves the Twilight saga.