"A Cow Named Horse" by Imogen Egenson (Knox County Winner)
Once upon a time there was a horse named Cow. He lived in a barn with a cow named Horse. Every September, there was a farmers market two towns away, where the farmer that owned Cow and Horse had a booth. Every year at the market, the farmer sold one horse and one cow. This year he planned to sell Cow and Horse.
The night before the market the farmer got a call from the milk factory. The farmer
picked up his phone, which was at least forty years old, smelled like donkey, and occasionally spat sparks.
“Hello. Is this [crackle] Al?” asked the owner of the milk factory.
“Yes, this is Farmer Al.”
“Well, then, I [crackle] like to buy [crackle] cow.”
“OK. That’ll be five hundred dollars.”
“[crackle] I’ll pick it up at the market [crackle],” said the milk factory owner.
Later that night, the farmer received a phone call from the manager of a riding school. “Hello. I [crackle] like to purchase [crackle] horse from [crackle],” said the manager. “OK. That’ll be nine hundred dollars,” said the farmer.
“Alright [crackle]. I’ll see [crackle] tomorrow,” the manager replied.
The next day, Cow and Horse were loaded into the truck. After three hours of driving, they arrived at the farmers’ market. The farmer unloaded Cow and Horse into the stable.
Soon, the manager of the riding academy arrived to pick up her acquisition.
“Hello,” she said, leaning over into the stable. “I’m here from the riding academy.”
“Oh, yes. Let me get her for ya,” said the farmer. The farmer brought out Horse.
“What is this?! I asked for a horse, not some lumpy cow,” said the manager angrily. “Well, you asked for Horse and I gave ya Horse (that’s her name).”
“No, I asked for a horse.”
“I don’t have a horse to give you,” replied the farmer.
“Well then, I want a refund.”
“No,” said the farmer, walking back to the barn.
“You can’t just leave me with this cow,” said the manager, walking after the farmer. “Sorry, but y’all bought her already,” the farmer said, closing the stable door.
The manager sat at the door for an hour, then left with Horse.
Later, the owner of the milk factory arrived.
“Hello,” said the owner
“Howdy there,” said the farmer.
“I’m the one who called last night… from the milk factory.”
“I’ll be right back,” the farmer said, heading into the stable.
When the farmer brought out Cow, the owner of the factory was not very happy.
“I’m sorry. I asked for a cow, not a horse.”
“Well, this is Cow. That’s his name.”
“I would like a cow, not a horse. A horse is no good to me,” said the owner of the factory.
“Well, I just sold a cow and all I have is this here horse,” said the farmer sternly. “Then I want a refund.”
“Sorry. No refunds.”
“I paid good, hard-earned money for what I thought was a cow. So either I’m gonna get a cow or I’m gonna get my money back,” said the owner.
“Well then, I don’t know what to tell y’all. All I know is the only thing y’all’s walkin’ away from here with is that there horse,” the farmer said, turning back towards the stable. The farmer waved to the factory owner and closed the stable door in his face.
An old woman came up behind the factory owner.
“Rough day for you, too, huh?” said the woman.
“You betcha,” replied the factory owner.
Everyone was left unsatisfied, except for the farmer, who went home to feed Chicken and Goat.
The moral of the story is if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you just bought a duck — even if its name is Horse.
Imogen Esmé Egenson (11) was born in New York City and moved to Maine in the Pandemic with her mom, dad, and two brothers. Imogen loves her family, fashion, building houses in the woods, and Greek mythology (not necessarily in that order). She wrote the first draft of “A Cow Named Horse” in a group chat for her friends Melly and Astrid.